Ok, I know this post might seem a little controversial and a bit woo-woo. But I’m a firm believer in the techniques I’m about to share with you because they absolutely worked for me and my baby! A quick Google search will reveal lots of articles claiming that you can do all sorts of things for your little babe while in-utero to set them up for success. A few of the recommendations include: play them mozart to build intelligence; set their food preferences by eating certain things; establish a taste for certain styles of music and have better musical ability by dancing to loud music so baby can hear; and even providing them comfort by reading the same books to them every day so they are used to the sound and cadence of the same book read to them after they’re born.
Well, I don’t know if Ethan is any smarter after all that Mozart, but here’s what I DO know and I think it’s pretty cool. I’m so very glad that I stumbled up these tips in time to implement them, they really did work and the results have been so helpful!
Read more about how you can help baby learn in the womb!
Here are the things in-utero that I implemented on a regular basis (some starting as early as 16 weeks and others I added along the way):
Eat the foods that are familiar to you and your family if you want your baby (and later on, big kid) to have a preference for these foods and be set up for a life of healthy eating as well as have a diverse palate!
This was a BIG ONE to me. Mozart be darned, I can forgive the occasional “C” on his future report cards as long as he knows the difference between Homemade and a Happy Meal, and appreciates well-cooked, real food in a variety of flavors. I had heard that whatever a woman eats while pregnant does indeed flavor the amniotic fluid while baby’s in the womb, and afterward continues to flavors her breastmilk (read more HERE.) When I went in to the hospital at 26 weeks pregnant with preeclampsia, I ended up having to stay there all the way up to 30 weeks when they delivered Ethan. And then I stayed another 10 weeks with him first in the NICU, and then in the Special Care Nursery. I lived 3 1/2 months at the hospital…and this was during Covid. Needless to say, bland hospital food day in and day out plus most restaurants closed plus not being able to cook for myself…I was terrified Ethan was going to come out wanting jello and instant mashed potatoes. So I doubled down my efforts to eat things big on flavor whenever I could. I ordered takeout from Indian and Thai restaurants, as spicy as I could handle (which is quite a lot.) I ate street tacos with hot sauce; pungent and spicy noodle and stir fry dishes; rich and flavorful pastas; strong and bitter vegetables. Between my husband, mom and door dash, I had a constant influx of flavors of the world to combat the threat of the hospital cafeteria forever shaping my baby’s palate. Flash forward to yesterday: I had a moment that was the inspiration for this blog post. I was eating a make-you-cry scorching hot Thai curry with rice, and Ethan was next to me in his highchair eating some rice and veggies. He kept hollering and reaching for my curry. I tried explaining to a 17-month-old that it’s too spicy but he wouldn’t relent. I decided to put a very microscopic bit of the curry on a bite of rice so he could decide for himself if he really wanted some. It was my moment to test my efforts of in-utero taste training! Ethan took the bite, paused a moment…then looked at me and smiled, and reached for more! I did bigger and bigger drops of curry until he got to about a spoonful of the curry with his rice. It had worked!!! I was so elated I called my hubby at work and interrupted his meeting to share the good news. My son also eats small pieces of Wasabi-Soy flavored almonds (holler if you love those! So addicting!); jalapeno potato chips, and aside from the spicy stuff, he loves just about everything (except sardines. He wasn’t a fan.) Whatever we’re having, that’s what he has. I just cook it longer and chop it up tiny. He enjoys avocado toast with egg and roasted red pepper with me in the morning. Lunch might be a PB&J or it might be turkey club on sourdough with roasted pepper and tomato soup. Always veggies and fruit every day that DON’T come pureed in a sugary mush from a jar or tube (ok sometimes it does, but this is the exception.)
>>> As an aside, have you ever actually tried those squeezy tubes of fancy baby food that supposedly taste like Kale/Avocado/Carrot/Apple/Oat kind of thing? When I saw those, I thought I had found an easy way to get Ethan his fruits and veggies while building his palate. But then I tasted them just to be sure, and they all taste the same…a sugary concoction with only a slight veggie variation. I know they say no sugar added, but I think how they get around this is they add concentrated fruit puree which is essentially like adding sugar. All I would accomplish is create a taste for fruit smoothie sugar bombs from Dutch Bros. Not a win. <<<
Anyway, after bragging sharing with friends and family Ethan’s curry adventure, I’ve had a few horrified but well-meaning individuals ask me how I wasn’t scared I would “burn up his insides” or cause him some kind of irreversible harm…nevermind that most of world’s kid population eats spicy every day. Did you know a common practice in Korea is to rinse scorching hot kimchi in water first and serve it with rice to their kids? The residue of heat left in the rinsed kimchi tempers tastebuds at an infant age to handle the heat. They slowly decrease the rinsing until their little one eats it straight up just like the rest of the family at mealtime. Genius! Oh and yes, Ethan nibbles on my kimchi.
All this to say, eat the things you want your baby to like, while pregnant and breastfeeding. Feed your baby whatever you are having at your meal, modified to be baby-safe. If you are doing formula rather than breastfeeding, simulate the flavor exposure of breastmilk by dipping your finger in the sauces/juices/whatever of each dish you prepare and give baby a taste every time. Ask your doctor or pediatrician for guidance on what is ok and when to start. As for baby food, get yourself a little food processor for when they’re itty bitty and can’t take solids yet – toss in a bit of everything you’re having for dinner. Or better yet, blend each dish separately, it only takes an extra minute. If I wouldn’t want a steak-and-fruit-salad milkshake, I try not to feed it to my child. I have a rule that I rarely break…if I wouldn’t want to eat this, I shouldn’t be giving it to him.
Lastly, beyond just flavor, it’s all about getting baby all the macro and micronutrients he needs. Ethan got low on iron for awhile because the iron drops would constipate him terribly; we stopped doing them. Breastmilk does NOT contain iron after about six months of birth. My pediatrician said to cook more in an iron skillet, and increase his red meat and beans intake. I also introduced pickled beets, which he eats like candy. That brought his iron levels back up by his next appointment. If a baby or toddler refuses to eat anything but tater tots and mcnugs, it’s awfully hard to get them the nutrition they need. All the more reason to win the eat-your-broccoli battle now while they’re little. Good luck when they’re twelve.
Create a collection of special books and songs that you read and sing while pregnant to have a headstart on comforting routines and to help develop a love of reading and music.
Don’t get so hung up on choosing the “right” books or songs or what-have-you that you end up not doing it at all. I was actually given a couple of books by my Aunt, who had read them to her nephews when they spent the night. I started reading these books out loud every night at bedtime from about 16 weeks on. My husband would sometimes read them to my belly. I also had a few songs I sang, and a few more I played on my phone every single day, with my phone placed near my belly, or sometimes turned up loud on the speaker, and I would dance to the rythym. Lastly, I had a couple of silly little sing-song sayings I would randomly say out loud while I tapped my belly. This all might seem ridiculous, but let me tell you, it worked. When Ethan was born, I would hold him for hours in the NICU and when I would read these books or sing these songs, his heart rate would slow and I could tell he would respond in a special way. I felt so helpless in the NICU, it was wonderful having something special I could do that I knew was effective to help bring comfort to my son. I have continued with this routine, and as he is getting older, I offer him many different books but he always chooses the one I had read to him while pregnant. I sing many different songs to him at bedtime, but he always falls asleep to the one I sang to him while pregnant. I play lots of different music that he seems to ignore during the day until the songs come on that I played to him in the womb; he suddenly lights up and starts dancing.
In case you’re wondering (which you’re probably not), the books I read are “While You Sleep, Little Love” by Michelle Prater Burke, and “The Goodnight Train” by June Sobel. Those are the ones I read every day. I would also sometimes read “Stuart Little” and various poetry, especially in the NICU as the days dragged on…you can only read two tiny board books on repeat for so long. Did I spend hours and hours researching the best books to read to baby for better brain development? No – someone gave me some freebies, and I had a few old ones already on the shelf, and I just went with those. As for songs, I sang “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,” “Row, Row, Row You’re Boat,” and “A Sailor Went to Sea Sea Sea…” (Sometimes “I Wish I Were an Oscar Meyer Weiner” song just to get the side-eye from the nurses…desperate boredom calls for desperate measures.) The songs I played on my phone were “Midnight Dance” and “Six String Blvd.” by Pavlo (Ethan still loves these ones) ,Baby Beluga and a few others by Raffi. We also listened to a lot of classical music and Christian music as well.
If you are a praying kind of person, you can pray for your baby and their future!
I know this one doesn’t apply to everyone, but it sure did to me! If you are a person of faith and prayer is your thing, you can pray over that baby! Pray for their health and development; pray for a safe delivery; pray for their future path, for them to find their true purpose and follow the right path, for blessings and safety as they grow, and that you would be granted the grace and wisdom to parent them the way they will need! These prayers, if you believe this kind of thing, will surround them in the womb and go with them throughout their whole life. My own mother has shared with me some of the prayers that she prayed over me when she was pregnant, when I was a child, and throughout my life. I can tell you, there are some things in my life that by all accounts should have taken me out and gone very, very wrong, but I was somehow preserved and brought through to safety…I believe it’s in great part due to these prayers that surround me always. Shout out if you have, or are, a praying mama!
Women who become pregnant in their 40s face a lot of fears. There is a mile-long list of things that are likely to go wrong with our own bodies as well as our baby. It can be terrifying at times (chances of a miscarriage at age 40 and above is around 30-50%.) Each and every day is a nailbiter until we reach the 12-week mark, at which point the chances of miscarriage drop drastically. (Read more about miscarriage rates by age.) Add to that the heightened risk of pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes, having a baby with a disability, and many, many more for a woman 40 or above, and it can make a woman feel downright helpless. In the midst of all this, having something she CAN do to bond with her baby, to help control some of the little things, to feel that she is contributing something positive to her baby in the midst of all the negatives stacked against her…it makes all the difference in the world. And if your baby does happen to be born super early and must stay hooked up to tubes and wires in the NICU? When you see their heart rate and oxygen on the monitor stabilize as baby falls asleep to you singing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” just like you have so many times before while they were still safe in your belly…well, there are no words for that.
Let me know in the comments if there was anything special you did while still pregnant that influenced your baby in some special way!